I don’t talk about religion often or even act like I am religious. It really doesn’t appear until I experience something traumatic or am vexing about something that is weighing me down. That's a major problem for me. Lately I have found myself talking to the man upstairs more than I normally would be. I just experienced one of the most traumatic experiences in my life. I lost someone I considered to be my best friend at one point in time. They are now completely out of my life. I live my life now as if they never existed and I think about it constantly. As much as I put up a facade I think about it all the time. On top of that the lending market is slowing down. Maybe not for everyone but it is for me, and I know it's not from lack of ambition or effort. There are a few reasons for the brakes screeching a bit. I’m pretty confident I’ll be ok in that department however eventually. The market tends to decline after the holidays and interest rates shoot back up but they will be back down soon and I have enough in my pipeline to last me. The industry is cyclicle and Im telling you it takes years off my life. May be time to find another career who knows. Being in L.A and home base being in Sacramento is taking a toll on me.
It's these times that I find myself driving and turning down the volume to ask god for the things I need ion my life whatever it is that day. When things are good I’m nowhere to be found however. God delivered to me what I wanted most in life and always asked him for 2.5 years ago and no matter how hard I tried or wanted it to I couldn’t make it last. I’m pretty sure this relationship was out of god's hands anyway. Good god! I’m pretty sure G and Satan could have combined forces and this debacle would have gone nowhere. This is beside the point. I had what I was looking for and I found a company that was lucrative and life was good at the time and gave me all the support I needed. I was content. Complacent. I forgot about the big G until recently now that my heart and my mind are experiencing turmoil. Am I being punished I wonder for being such a fickle fan? Am I one of those fans that roots for a team right after they win the super bowl? GO PACKERS! What's their quarterbacks name again? Whatever it is I feel like I lost focus and strayed from the right path.
Please know I’m not preaching here this is simply an account of what's was going through my mind today as I made my morning trip to the can.
theres no way youre alone on that. smoke through it.
ReplyDeleteLife is good, even when you're falling. The man doesn't punish us, but allows us to learn from our mistakes by reaping the result of our own decisions. If you think you're being showed something, maybe you are.
ReplyDeleteDamn, that sounded way worse than it was meant to. My bad. I'm just projecting the free fall.
ReplyDeleteI hear both what your saying. shits just sucking at the moment. But shit will get tight again someday too so yep. smoke thru it.
ReplyDeletePipes, your current situation is not the product of a mythical person from a book with a talking snake. Nor your lack of enthusiasm for this mythical entity in good times or bad. You're just in a proverbial valley. You're in a rut. Battle. You're good at that.
ReplyDeletethanks Bob for your atheist perspective and words your positive enthusiasm. You may be burning in the fiery lake someday but you were warned. Follow my blog like a true homie sucka.
ReplyDelete... and a couple tech suggestions: adjust your comments settings to allow readers to be notified via email of any follow-up comments from the same post. this will enhance readership and engage your loyal followers. and secondly, dont make us enter the fucking anti-spam group of letters before publishing comments. that is until you start getting flooded with spam, but thats unlikely. good talk.
ReplyDelete